Friday, December 07, 2007

Life! There you are!!

Finally after all that ordeal yesterday, after some shouting... after all that evil stares... it's finally over... OVER! ORD OH!!!! PINK IC LOH!!! WAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! may have been 5 days too late, but still, it feels darn good... oh so damn good...

I'm completely hysterical right now. so ecstatic. so excited.... it's like life has begun all over again!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The time has come...

please let this be the last time i have to enter that disgusting place. the last time i have to see the people and work i hate. the last time i have to think about stuff that is not my job that i hate so much.

yet, i'm so afraid right now. afraid things won't go through still. afraid they'll yell at me again for ridiculous things. God be my strength. Be my Pillar and Shield. That all this will end peacefully.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Goodbye Hope Centre, i'll miss you dearly...

we had our final service at Hope Centre cafe yesterday. Quite a few old faces came by. Had an extended service. Talked about how the church isn't the building, but it's the people that make up the church.

I'm really really sad right now, knowing that we wont be at the cafe anymore. That this morning might be the last time i wake up in the cafe. the last time i leave that place while it's still ours. Was telling everyone that i cant remember one single time i had a bad moment at that place. The memories i have there are only good ones. There may have been happy and sad moments there, but they were all good moments in the essence of it. Working there, worshiping there, hanging out... sleeping there... goofing off... That place really in some sense became home away from home, which is what Third Place is supposed to be.

Now we don't have that place anymore... and there isn't quite anything else like it anywhere else. At least i'm not losing the people that i hold dear. it's just the building i tell myself. but there are still emotional strings attached to it, and it hurts to have those strings cut. In the past i actually imagined myself growing old in that place. I kid you not.

I know, that it's not the people itself that i'm losing... just that location. I know the answer, and we've told it to the kids as well... that at least we still have one another. But when it comes down to it, we still hurt from having something that's been so much a part of us, taken away.

The thing that really takes the cake is that we hear that Trinity Christian Centre bought over the whole building to do the same thing that we are doing. I kinda likened it to being a kid with your favourite toy, and another kid comes along and takes away that toy because his mom has the money to do so. And now that we're moving to the YWCA across the road from Hope Centre, we'll get to see that kid play with that toy everyday. i don't know how i'm gonna walk past it everyday and see other people using that stage, using the kitchen... having biblestudy where i used to have biblestudy, worship where i used to worship.
I'll say this... that i know it's probably not TCC's fault that this is happening. Perhaps they don't know the whole picture. Which church in their right mind would buy over another church's property?
But even though these people are brothers and sisters in Christ as well, it still hurts to see them use what we once called home.

ok, i'm gonna stop blogging now, i'm already crying as it is.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Coffee Vampires, Falling bolsters...

went for YM 9.30 service then headed out with CMJ people to have breakfast at Dome.
Gareth's food was late and he needed to zhao back to sing for the 2nd service. so we da-baoed his food and i brought it back to YWCA for him.

On the way back (while still holding the Dome paperbag) jbarks comes from behind and asks if there was any coffee in there. haha. last week he couldnt even eat lunch at fish and co. cos he hadnt had his coffee yet.

and now, this conversation just happened over msn between jbarks and me...

-Ian- Why? says:
oh yeah... and eric and i realised that at sports sch u will be zombie
-Ian- Why? says:
there's no coffee there
-Ian- Why? says:
well, no real coffee that is
jbarks says:
jbarks says:
need driver
jbarks says:
duty driver
jbarks says:
-Ian- Why? says:
jbarks says:

Lol... i just found that really amusing. On weekdays however, Jbarks is an opstronics I/C in camp and he hides in the dark confines of his air-con store and hibernates till lunch or till someone needs to return/loan something. Hence, because his exposure to sunlight is minimal, he doesn't really need the coffee.

Wesley YM camp is being held from 13-16 Dec at sports sch btw...

Anyway, headed back to Fish and Co. again. (consecutively in two weeks!) and had lunch there with the other CMJ peeps. Had a surprise party for Chin Hui, so we bought a bolster and coloured/drew/designed/doodled/drew pink IC on it with markers. then waited for her to come and dropped it on her from the 2nd floor. too bad the majority of us had to hide in the toilet while all this happened so we never really saw the look on her face when it happened.
And as we were all waiting for her, Gareth concluded that she'd take quite some time to turn up and decided to bomb toilet bowl island at that very point in time. When she did turn up earlier than he expected, i went in and told him. To which he said "oh shit" how apt. haha.

Was quite fun hanging out with the gang for lunch. and i ate too much once again. I'm really growing fat... it's scary. MUST RUN!

Back to work tomorrow once again. 3 weeks left now. hopefully the last week will be spent clearing leave and off rather than coming back to work. crosses fingers. and of course, definitely hope not to extend. (choi choi)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

words cant describe how angry/ cheesed off/ frustrated i am right now. I don't think i can recall another time i have been this angry. i'm likely to kill something right now just to vent.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Exodus @ ACS (I)

Ok, i know i havent blogged in ages. Especially even after coming back from Thailand. But i'm not quite ready to throw in the towel for blogging yet. There are times in my life where i feel there's something really important to document. Either that or i am just in the mood for typing and spazing on this small small portion of the WWW.

Gotta go back to camp in abt 2 and 1/2 hrs time to do my extra guard duty. Long story. perhaps another time, but i gonna keep this short.

Went down to ACS Independent today for the Exodus concert, to help Truthmin in whatever way i could. Ended up singing and playing guit for a few songs without much practice once again. One of the songs "God-shaped hole" had an acoustic intro to it, and i could definitely play it. However, Reg had practiced quite a bit for that song on acoustic and everyone decided that he will still play it in the end. He did play in the end, and although it wasn't perfect, i believe it stood for something among us. That perfection ain't as important as honouring another person's feelings and hard work at the end of the day. I hope that small act carried out to the congregation. Sadly, i could see in that in the band that played before us, they felt that every small detail of their music must be a specific style and arrangement according to their liking. It became an obsession to them.

Anyway, this was so important to me because i remember back when i was starting to learn how to play guit, i practiced really hard for one worship session, only to be replaced by another guitarist at the last moment by the band leader because he could pull it off better than i could. the same scenario happened 2 years later with the exact same guitarist, just that this time the roles were reversed. I was supposed to replace the other guitarist instead, but i turned it down because i remembered how terrible it made me feel.

It really warmed my heart standing back and watching Reg play with the rest of the band, even though i was very tempted to just play instead of him. The act of it stood for something more than just worship by music, it was worship by actions and deeds.

ok, gotta go get my 2 and 1/2 hours of sleep in now.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Hope, Trust, Faith.

These 3 words, how much they mean to me at this point in time...

In about 4 hours time i'll be at Changi airport, getting ready to fly to Thailand once more. Another whole month in that place. sigh. it's not so much about the work i have to do there... it's more about the people i'm with there and the people i'm leaving behind here.

Even on my off day yesterday, they still wanted me to go back to camp to do work. I couldn't take it... my friends are more important and i won't get to see them for a whole month very soon. Diverted all my calls to mom, who gave them a piece of her mind. I just needed to breathe. needed time away. 1 month of non-stop work is bad enough as it is. sometimes, i think the whole problem with the army and its regulars is the fact that they're so caught up with trying to defend the nation and their training that they forget who the nation is. Their friends, their families. If it really meant that much to them to defend the country, then they'd treasure their time with family more.

YMLC was great... a lot of people tell me that it's hard to get anything out of it because they just cover the same things in a 3 year cycle. But to me, I really treasure the whole fact that all the leaders from the methodist churches can rally together and encourage one another. To be frank, i didn't really learn much from the talks/workshops during the conference. But God touched my heart during the 2nd day 6am prayer meeting and He gave me wonderful group mates who were so encouraging in everything they said.

YMLC 2007 Mentor Group 14:

You guys are a wonderful bunch of people whom i'll never forget. Really thank God for giving me the chance to know you all.

And to all my other friends as well... here's the shout-outs:

Mel and Mike: thanks for always looking out for me in one way or another. Your friendships are something i would give the world in exchange for.

Wynne: you as well, thanks for being there. though we may always suan you... there's a reason why you're chairman for 3rd place comm...

Mark D: my dear bro, complaining about army with me even after you've ORDed. your life is unique in its own way... and God's gonna use it to touch thousands around. I know He's already used it to touch mine.

Lydia: thanks for always hearing me complain about something. always ready to lend a listening ear and encouraging me. yeah the end is coming soon... i'll be hanging on to that. that hope at the end of the tunnel.

Alvin, Francis, Reg, Bel, Mark M: God has really used you all to touch my life... in my approach to ministry and this desire to serve full-time. Wouldn't know what my life would be like without you guys in my life.

Not looking forward to leaving... i nearly didnt sleep last night cos i didnt want to see today come. sigh. i'll see you all in month, i'll be much happier then.