Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Someone just shoot me

why the heck did i do something so stupid? i don't know... the signs were there... people already warned me... yet i still wanted to try... but the way it all ended was just so incredibly stupid of me. i should've known that i just dont stand a damn chance.

woke up at 5 this morning. slept at 2. too many things going through my mind. NS in 3 days. crud. turned on the tv this morning to MTV and realised that the reason why pple like james blunt sell a single so well is because of things like this that happen.

"Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly"

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Another one of those nights

babble post... just wanna blurt this out. somehow nights seem to have a very emo effect on me... i tend to think negatively quite a lot...

anyway, liking someone is definately a very natural thing that humans do... duh... it's just part of us... God made us to be attracted to the opposite sex. yet i cant help but think the risk of liking someone is too high to handle at times... too many times has it happened with a bad ending... ok maybe not really bad, just disappointing....
guess i would say i've been "turned down" too many times already to want to take risk anymore. Yet there is no choice but to face risk in these things.

I think i've "liked" about 7 girls since i think sec 1.... i cant help but think sometimes that i'm like one really helpless loser... i dont know many guys who have liked 7 girls and can say they've never gotten into a relationship before... it means i take a relationship very seriously, yes... but at the same time i wonder whether it's ok for me to have liked so many girls.... what does it mean when the next one comes along, and i say i like her? i've said that with the past 7 girls and that don't matter.... so what matters?

what happens one day when i do get into a relationship (if that ever happens) and i have to tell her how many girls i've liked in my entire lifespan.... like gee.... tt's not a small number... i think.

what's worth putting on the line? when is it worth risking it? i dont know when i stand a chance and when i dont... there've been times where i was so sure it was mutual... it may have been... i still dunno up to now...

it's just frustrating and annoying that it cant be more straight forward....

end of with the famous phrase: "i've been hurt too many times to try anymore"... but yet another part of me still wants to try.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Return from the dead part 2
ok... not really dead... been pretty much alive the past 1 and 1/2 months after my exams... but cant say much for a months time.... NS calls... and i thought i had at least till mardh before i go in... been interning with Truthmin again ever since my exams end... somehow or another i only spend about 2 and 1/2 months everytime i intern.

yeah... anyhow... i'm updating because certain pple have been bugging me to update... *cough* melody *cough*.... so here i am in the 3rd place cafe blogging while everyone is playing pool and watching constantine.

30 more days left to cherish before i go in... oh well... got ONE camp coming up and i'm doing games... this year there's 8 people in games comm not including me... so grateful for that... hopefully everything will be a blast.