Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Holy Week

1 year ago i would be just starting my internship with Truthmin for the 1st time... it's been a year already. sigh i miss those days. just wish i could go back and do that for the rest of my life. Was looking back at my blog history over the past 2 years... reminiscing (is tt how it's spelled? NS makes ur spelling go down the drain) on the past... my days in poly, enjoying my holidays with Truthmin, then dreading studies in poly and the difficulties and frustrations i've gone through. A lot has happened. I thank God He's been faithful to me all this time despite all the trying and difficult circumstances. Giving me great friends from Third Place, opportunities to work with so many other people, and the things He's shown me after all this time. And in the end, it all boils back down to 2000 years ago when He died for us... if not for that, none of this would've been possible. Sure, i complain a lot about my current circumstances at times, but sometimes it's important just to get it off ur chest.

Now i need to get this off my chest.

The Emo nights have returned... i sleep 4-5 hrs a day now on weekdays cos i dont need much energy in camp during the day. so i usually spend my time chatting with friends, or playing games. the rest of the time is just spent in being emo... which is actually quite often... on the bus, at home, outside.... it happens once my mind isnt occupied by anything.

Went to watch Keeping Mum with Rachel yesterday night. very draggy movie... go rent the DVD only if u have nothing better to do. After the movie, we were talking abt BGR how all the "player" guys are the ones with the suave moves and just sweep a girl off her feet, only to drop her on the pavement later. whereas the guys that are sincerely nice and straightforward to a girl, always scare the girl before anything happens. hence the girl shuns the nice guy and always ends up with the guy that just wants to play around. But that would just be generalising. Though i do see that it's rather true, looking at past experiences as well as some other friends. True genuine good relationships are hard to come by i guess, even if 2 people would work out very nicely with one another, they probably scare each other off before really knowing each other well enough. I dunno, that's what i speculate at least. It's hard to make heads or tails of the whole matter... it's all abt the circumstances.

Emotions just get the better of you... But i can't imagine life without them.

I know her heart's with another, i know i should just be a good friend, cos that's all she really needs right now. My heart betrays my decisions, but since when was it ever about me? It's not and never will be... maybe i should just throw away my heart till i can't feel this anymore.