Monday, December 25, 2006

It feels like it's Xmas...

There's that warm fuzzy feeling... yeap... it definitely feels like Xmas this time round. It's probably cos of friends and family... and how much i've learnt to appreciate them now after all i've been through the past year. My friends from 3rd Place who've been the best friends i've ever had, been there for me despite my ups and downs. My parents, who've been so loving, accomodating and supporting towards me, through army and towards my ambition into going into full time ministry. And to top it off, during this period, i'm on leave till the new year. my short break. finally.

just watched love actually on TV while my uncles and aunts and grandparents left the house in bunches. really wonderful movie now that i remember... and terribly emo as well. haha. one guy i can really identify with... "to me, you're perfect".

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Carols by Candlelight @ Wesley...

after 4 practices, we finally played for the worship at Wesley's Carols by Candlelight service. Raymond and Favian on Keys 1 & 2, Mike on Bass, Mel on Drums, Francis on Percussion, Reg, Joyce and myself on backup vocals, Me on Acoustic and Wynne leading. There were soooo many people there and the stage area for the band was like perched up on stage right, was a really interesting experience.
Wynne handled all the pressure really well... soo many people and mega bright lights, i'd be really nervous too, well more nervous than just playing acoustic. Everything pretty much turned out well, other than the sound. This was the one and only time i'd say that I couldn't hear Mel at all... only Favian and Raymond. Neither could i hear my acoustic. was rather annoying to not be able to drive anything and hear whether you're on the right chord. Note to self: always leave Vol pedal at minimum value when sound checking.
It was a really good experience, musically to do worship for this service. Raymond really gave very good insights and pushed the band to its optimum potential. I felt i could've and should've done better because i forgot to do several things and i screwed up here and there due to me not being able to hear myself. It's not the new year yet, but i think this year i'll make the resolution to work harder on my guit. Really not satisfied with where i'm at. So many other guys playing acoustic for the same time as me are a heck of a lot better than i am... i've been slacking off too much.
Then also comes the decision... at the end of my National Slavery, i'm thinking of either joining Trinity's Contemp or Wesley's Youth Band. Not sure right now... but looks like i'm gonna be transferring my membership from Trinity to Wesley cos i'm primarily at 3rd place. ah well, all in due time.

Anyway, it's Xmas Eve!

Friday, December 01, 2006

R.I.P. NGage

Commando Anniversary at Pasir Ris Camp... equates to me being a very busy person. and a very tired one as well. and tiredness brings about me forgetting stuff/ not really 100% aware of what i'm doing. To cut the long story short, my Ngage was stolen/lost during all the madness.

My store ain't 100% there either. stuff is missing. there's just too much to account for. extra items suddenly appear out of the blue... and sometimes the item missing just points at me. i'm so stressed out at camp... and the handphone really didnt help much by disappearing along with my office keys. Goodbye my Ngage... i'll miss the games we had. then again not really cos i have my PSP now.

Odds are someone's taken them. But there's not much i can do about that now. when's this gonna end? all this craziness... i think i can only take so much. it's not possible for one man to do this much. All this from camp is over my head as it is! why is it i have to face even more trials after that? It's not just my phone... why cant all these things just be stable?

I keep questioning a lot of things. Why Lord? Can You not keep me in the dark for once? i'd like to know where i'm headed sometimes.

Lydia and Mark are talking about being "prepared" for Wesley YM Camp next week. I on the other hand dont really see what there is to prepare. Prepare to meet Him? that'd just mean i can only meet Him at camps? that cant be it. prepare to experience the emotional high from the whole thing? that's just being silly.

Being 2 of my best friends, I know they don't mean that... and i can see where they're coming from as well. It's gonna be an experience that He can use to make me a better person. But i'm so tired, i don't know how i can prepare in any way. i'm just gonna go and see what happens. I'm at my limit Lord, i'm stretched further than i've ever been stretched. what now? I just wanna be a lifeless zombie and not think... You can think for me... i'll just follow.